Greetings from off the road my friends. Off the road because I am sitting in a tire shop while the bus gets some new tires. Very exciting stuff.

So here we are in Salt Lake. We rolled into town late as usual but not too bad this time. Kilby court was our venue and it was a strange place. Beside a skate alley and a bunch of dirt this backyard tin shack themed venue is the place for young Utah kids to come get "rowdy".

It was labor day and the town was as sober and dry as salt lake city on labor day can be expected. The guy ran to get us beer but in Utah they water the beer down to make it extra less like whiskey.

I began to work the merch booth and asked all the kids to steal booze from their parents and they could trade it for free shirts. Eventually an adult appeared and he ended up getting us a variety of alcohols. It was a celebratory time for the starfucks and I. We also got some pizza.

After the show one of the starfucks, Patrick, who is a really nice and chill dude, was invited to the University of Utah dormitory by a college girl. This seemed an excellent opportunity for him, and I tagged along as his wingman with the option to go fighter pilot myself. Things started off ominously when my phone directed us to a graveyard instead of the dorms. We probably should have just stayed there and hung with the ghouls, it would have been a better time.

First off the college girl wanted to give us a tour of the campus, at 3am. Blah blah blah, heres this library, heres a tree, etc. This made me worry and after a bit of pressing I discovered that we were not invited to her dorm at all! She pawned us off on this guy who would not shut the fuck up. We ended up sleeping on his floor and couch after some dull conversation, mostly jabber jaw flapping his gums. There were no blankets or pillows to speak of besides a bath towel which I used as a pillow. Oh yeah our host was boiling water but forgot about it and ruined his roommates nice pot and then picked it up from the stove but set it on the counter burning a nice ring on there too. In the morning the roommate came into the kitchen to Patrick brushing his teeth and unable to speak in the kitchen next to a messed up pot and burnt counter. This image seems funny to me because Patrick is such a nice guy and not guilty of the crimes but im sure the roommate was just like wtf who are you?

After a few hours of sleep, literally like 3 or maybe 4 tops, we were invited by our kind hosts to the college cafeteria. This almost made it worthwhile. I had some tasty yogurt with strawberry granola raisins and blackberries! After that I just wanted to get a shower ad get the f out. I met this girl in the cafeteria who seemed nice and gave me her number without me asking or anything and so I asked her if I could use her shower. I don't know what I was thinking but she said yes and it ended up real awkward with me pretty much leaving the second I left the bathroom. That's cool though because it gave me time to escape from our hosts and meet up with the other starfucks for the next event:

Free shoes! We went to Zurik a shoe place that gives shoes to strfkr whenever they roll through town. I got a nice pair which my feet are happy to have! After that we went to the club we play tonight and I grabbed the bus to get new tires and soon I shall head back to see what next foolishness will be experienced on this grand adventure!